Letters to My Grandchildren: Church Community

My Dear Grandchildren,

Today, we’re going to take another look at the Church to see a bit more of what the Scriptures have to say about it. This time we’re going to look at the Church as a community.

I think that you can guess where I’m going to start. Definitions! So, what’s the definition of ‘community’? How’s this: a community is a group of people who have something in common, something that brings them together. Now, that’s an okay definition, but it doesn’t quite work when applied to the Church. It’s true but incomplete. There are many groups of people that we might call a community. There’s the Boy Scouts and different clubs, like photography clubs and gamer clubs. These groups of people can be considered a community. They have something in common that brings them together. However, there is something missing when you apply that definition to the Church. And what’s missing is understanding what it is that the people of the Church have in common, what it is that not only brings them together but also holds them together. What is missing is a good understanding of the nature of bond that makes the people of the Church the kind of community that it is. (This is where you need to remember that the Church is a magical place.)

Comfort

A couple of weeks ago I spoke to you about love. I tried to clarify a bit what Jesus means when He calls us to love one another. I told you that love, according to Jesus’ definition, is patient and kind. Love will confront and take risks. And love endures. This is what Jesus expects when He calls us to love one another.

What I’d like to do this morning is return to the topic of love and look at another piece of what Jesus calls us to. To love one another is to offer comfort to those who need it.

Overcoming Obstacles

This is the third week that we are looking at the church as community. The key idea of the series is summarized by this short phrase, ‘I need you, and you need me’. Embracing this idea as a church is critical if we are going to become whole people. This is how the Gospel works. That was the first week’s sermon.

Last week I talked to you about how we might develop that short phrase, how we might live it. I spoke to you about talking and listening. The intended result of our talking and listening is that we would connect, that we would become friends in that more profound sense I mentioned. It is as we make progress in this that we will succeed in being people who are on the way to becoming whole.

This week I want to add a further note of realism. It’s just a fact that we will have problems. There will be obstacles in our way as we work at living as people who need each other. Today, I’ll just talk about one obstacle. I’m going to talk about fear.

Connecting

This morning’s sermon is a follow up to what I started last week, a series of sermons on one aspect of what it means to be a church. Last week I set the stage by talking about a basic fact of our being members of the church: ‘I need you, and you need me’. And we need each other so that we can become whole people. Today, I’d like to fill that out a bit more. I told you last week that I would be talking about communication today. That sounds a little stiff and formal. So, I’d like to say it differently. I’d like to talk about our connecting with each other. The Scriptures tell us that we are one body. We need to live that way. We need to connect. And we need to connect because: ‘I need you, and you need me.’

Family

1 John 2.9-11

This week's sermon is actually a continuation of last week's. I didn't plan it that way, but that's how the Spirit led. Last week's sermon was about Paul's call to obedience. You'll remember that I gave you four stories to illustrate four possible responses to what the Spirit was saying. The point of that sermon was that we need to work on our relationships within the church. This week's sermon builds on that by raising a question. And the question is simple: What does that mean? What are we supposed to do if we are going to 'work on our relationships'? What does that look like? Today, I hope to answer that question.

Our text is but one example of a multitude of passages in the Bible that have something in common. They all use the word, 'brother'. However, as you know, John didn't mean that in the sense of your parents' son. John was talking about other Christians, and he used the word 'brother' to refer to them. As far as John is concerned, Christians are brothers. And that means that as far as Jesus is concerned, Christians are brothers. And it's that simple thought that I want to develop.

When I was in college I lived in a rooming house with a bunch of Christians from the Inter-Varsity group. One of them, Bob, had joined a fraternity. One day Bob asked me why we Christians used the language of 'brother' when talking about each other. He wondered if we were trying to imitate the fraternity where everyone is a 'frat brother'. I pointed to verses like these in 1 John and told him that this is the way that the Bible refers to us. It tells us that we are brothers. That satisfied Bob. But, as I've thought about it, that answer is incomplete. It needs another question to be answered. And that question is, 'Why?' Why does the Bible do that? What I want you to see is that built into this kind of language of 'brother' is an assumption. The Bible assumes that we are a family, the family of God. And so, when it comes to our relationship with God, He is our Father and we are His children. That's familiar enough. But what's not so familiar is that when it comes to our relationships with each other, we are siblings, brothers and sisters. That's not a metaphor or just some stylized language. We are brothers and sisters in the same sense that God is our Father. The one relationship is as real as the other. There is no metaphor here. And so, you see, John's language of 'brother' - which, incidentally, for John includes both men and women - is a reminder that we are the family of God.

This is very helpful because it answers our question: What does it mean for us to work at our relationships in the church? John's use of the word 'brother' answers that. We are to act as a family. We are to behave toward each other as siblings, as brothers and sisters. That is our goal as we work at our relationships within the church. That's what we are shooting for. And, to be clear, let me say that we aren't called to create new kinds of relationships that don't currently exist. We not called to become siblings. No! We are brothers and sisters. We are that because we are the family of God. That is what the Gospel has made us: God's family. So, being family is just as real as being forgiven. No metaphors. So, the point is not that we need to become what we currently are not. No, rather, we need to be who we really are. We need to act like the family that the Gospel has made us. We are brothers and sisters in God's family.

So, here's my first thought. The church is a family, God's family. We are His children. That makes the other people in this room your siblings, your brothers and sisters. This is the Gospel, and we need to believe it. It shows that we are believing it when we act like it.

Now, my second thought. Here, I need to deal with a problem. Consider family life in the homes of your friends and neighbors. The experience of being family has fallen on hard times. Roles within the family are not being fulfilled according to what God has said. Husbands and wives are not relating to each other as they should. Fathers and mothers are not relating to their children as they should. Children are not relating to their parents as they should. And children are not relating to each other as they should. Things have broken down. Everyone is pleasant enough to the others, but the relationships expected in a family are not there. These are families that aren't working as they should. One result of that is what some are calling 'father hunger', a crying need for the role of father to be filled in a person's life. That's why we are finding so many Christians who, in one way or other, are asking, 'What does it mean that God is my Father?' They really don't know how to answer that because they have never really experienced the love of a father. In the same way, many Christians cannot answer the question, 'What does it mean that other Christians are my brothers and sisters?' They just don't know. Having Godly relationships with their natural siblings just isn't part of their experience. If we are going to be able to understand the church as a family and work toward that goal, we will need to know what it means to have a good and Godly relationship with brothers and sisters.

Here, I am going to suggest two things to do to develop Godly relationships with siblings. Now, understand that this will be remedial. You know how some kids should have learned their math facts in elementary school but didn't. They have to get extra help - remedial help - somewhere later down the line. It's not the best way to gain those skills, but what else are you going to do. The best way to learn how to be a brother or a sister is by growing up in a Godly family where those things were taught. But, for some, we're going to have to go to 'Plan B', remedial help. So, two things to do to develop good relationships with brothers and sisters. First, love them. Second, serve them.

Let's follow the model of God's love. What does it mean that God loves you? I've told you that, at the very least, it means that God likes you. For me, that is simply a tremendous thought that I'm still trying to digest. God likes me! Amazing. But, if that's what God's love means, then a love for a brother or sister must also at least include liking him or her. I was asked a question some weeks ago. 'What if some people in the church just aren't your kind of people? There aren't any problems between you and them. No one is angry at anyone. But they are just different from you, and you've never gotten to know them, not really. That's okay, isn't it?' This is how I answered. If the Church is just another social group, then fine. We get along well with some people but not others. What are you going to do? But the Church isn't just another social group. We are the Church of Jesus. We are unlike any other organization on the face of the earth. The Church has received the Spirit of God. And that has happened so that we can fulfill the mission given to us. Jesus has called us to change the world, to make disciples of the nations. What we need to see is that how we relate to each other is key to our success. That's why Jesus said this. 'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.' We will accomplish our mission of revealing Jesus in all His glory to the people around us and thus change the world, only if we love one another. That love relationship is proof of who Jesus is as the one who has changed our lives by making us His disciples. The power of the Gospel is revealed to the world by our relationships. So, in answer to that question, yes, we need to like each other. This is what Jesus means when He commands us to love one another as brothers and sisters, to love as a family. That's the first aspect of developing Godly relationships.

Second, we need to serve each other. Last week I read from the first part of Philippians 2 as I explained what Paul was expecting the Christians to obey. Listen to it again. 'So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.' Paul was calling the people to be one, to be a family, by serving one another. Do you know what comes next in his letter? Paul gives an example of what he is talking about. Here is his description of what serving one another looks like. 'Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.' That is so powerful! The Spirit is telling us that when it comes to working on our relationships, be like Jesus. If you want to serve one another as siblings, look at His example. And this makes even more sense when you remember that Jesus is the older brother of the family. What He did, He did for His younger brothers and sisters - us. He is showing us what it means to be a brother or a sister to the rest of the family. He is the model of brotherly love.

This is what it means to be the family of God, to work on our relationships as Paul commanded. We need to like each other and we need to serve each other. Our model in this is Jesus. Following Him here will be hard. It will be hard and it will cost us dearly. But we really don't have any choice in the matter. The Spirit has commanded this in His Word.

All of this leads me to my next question. It seems appropriate to ask it here. So, how are we doing? How are we doing at being the family of God, at liking each other, at serving each other? How are we doing when it comes to our relationships within the church? I think that it's fair to say that it's not working, not the way that it's supposed to. We don't act like a family, not as Jesus understands that term. And let me tell you why I think that. This is what I am hearing from and seeing in too many of you. You're lonely; lonely in the midst of the family of God. Imagine some kid telling you, 'Yes, I have a family. I have two parents and brothers and sisters. We're all nice to each other, but I feel so lonely.' How damning! Too many of you are lonely. I understand that because I am lonely, too. Something's not working. Then there is this other problem. Some of you have thought about leaving Faith Reformed to find a better church. What is that but saying, 'It isn't working.' Who wants to leave a family where he is loved and served? And again, I don't blame you. I have thought about leaving also. These are not signs of a flourishing family. So, I find that we are at a point of decision, a crisis point. Are we going to be the church as Jesus defines it? A real family that is working on relationships, working on liking each other and serving each other?

As I thought about all of this, two things came to mind. You need to understand that my default position has always been pessimism. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it's still there. My motto: 'When in doubt, assume the worst.' So, I asked myself, 'What should I expect as I look to the future? Is changing Faith Reformed likely? Is it even possible?' Then there was this second thought: 'If this is going to work, if Faith Reformed is going to change, then I might have to change. What is that going to be like? How is it going to happen? I don't know how to answer those questions. I don't like not knowing how to answer those questions. I do know that it will be hard. And I'm sure that I don't like that. What is, is known. I can deal with that. What might be is unknown. And that, I find a bit scary.' So, there I was with these twin thoughts about this situation. And then, the Spirit nudged me. 'Uh, didn't you preach a sermon that deals with this sort of stuff? Something about four stories, four possible responses. Didn't you say that the right choice was 'Trust and Obey'? Something about Joshua taking some fortified city?' So, I slapped myself, told the Spirit that, once again, He was right and thanked Him for reminding me. Then I resolved to work at trusting Jesus and doing what He commands when it comes to working on my relationship with you. And I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who needs that reminder from the Spirit.

So, what do we do now to make some changes? Actually, asking that question is jumping the gun. First, we each need to ask ourselves: Do I want to see Faith Reformed changed? Do I want us to become a real family? If the answer is, 'No', then there is nothing more to say. But if the answer is, 'Yes', then, and only then, is it right to ask, 'What do we do now?' And the fact of the matter is that I don't know how to answer that. I don't have some master plan for us to follow. And I actually think that that is good. All too often, having a master plan is dangerous because it preempts the Spirit. There are, however, some things that I am sure of. First, we've heard from the Father, who has gently told us, 'Things at Faith Reformed have to change. You need to be more of who you really are. You need to act like the family I have made you.' The second thing that I am sure of is that, at this point, all He wants to hear from us is, first, 'Yes, Father. You're right', and second, 'What do You want us to do?' It's only as He hears us respond with the first that He will answer the second.

So, here's my plan. Let's pray. Let's pray those two things. 'Father, You're right. Things here have to change', and then, 'What do you want us to do?' If we do that I know that the Spirit will tell us what the next step will be. I'm pretty sure that it won't be easy. But He has grace to deal with that too.