We are continuing to explore our relationship with the Spirit. I hope you understand why I do this. The Spirit is key to our success as Christians and as a church. It is crucial for us to see that clearly. As we get to know Him better, we will be changed and we will be doing things for the kingdom that we would never have expected.
Our text is short which makes it easier to see some things. For example, the word 'grieve' stands out. What we do can grieve the Spirit. Let's examine this a bit. Grieving means making a person feel sad or distressed. To grieve someone is to cause that person pain. In speaking of our relationship with the Spirit in this way Paul makes clear that the Spirit is a person. He is not an 'it' or a thing. He is a person. And that means that He thinks, feels and does other things that a person would do, like respond to others. The Spirit responds to you. He responds emotionally to you. What you do either makes the Spirit sad or it makes Him glad. He responds to you. That means nothing if the Spirit is some stranger. But it means a great deal if you and He are close.
My teacher back in 7th grade English class was Mr. Test. (Yes, that is his real name.) He was one of the very best teachers that I have ever had. One day, he announced that there would be a vocabulary test on the next day. He was going to be out for the day, but a substitute teacher would be there to hand out the tests. The next day we entered the class expecting this test. The substitute handed them out and then told us to take out our dictionaries and fill in the answers. She evidently thought that it was just to be some worksheet. One of my fellow students told her that it was intended to be a test, but she told us not to worry about that. 'Get out your dictionaries and fill in the answers.' So, we did. The next day Mr. Test discovered what had happened. When we got to class he was very angry with us. He didn't yell. He took our work from the day before and threw it all into the trash. We let him know that that we told the sub that it was to be a test. 'That sub didn't know what she was doing. She will never sub in my class again. But you! I expected better of you. I don't care what you do for the rest of the period.' I was stunned. Most of my classmates pulled out a book to read or did something else, but I could not. Here is someone with whom I had a very good relationship. He was someone I respected and looked up to. I had grieved someone who was important to me and it really bothered me. That's what Paul is getting at when he writes, 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.'
It is easy to fall into the temptation of thinking that our religion boils down to following some rules. The Bible is filled with good rules, and I can understand it if it bothers someone when he breaks one of them. But that's a far cry from knowing that you have grieved someone with whom you have a very good relationship, someone you look up to, someone who is important to you. That's a whole different thing. 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.'
Let's go a little further with this. It's important that you understand why the Spirit grieves over your sin. There are those who will say that they understand that their sin grieves the Spirit, but they are still thinking in terms of rule keeping. They think that Spirit is upset because they have broken one of His rules. That's what His grief is about. Or so they tell you. But that is just wrong. The Spirit grieves not for Himself but for you, for your sake. He wants you to flourish. And your sin is an obstacle to that. So, when you sin He is saddened because an opportunity for you to flourish a little more has been lost. What made Mr. Test such a favorite of mine is that it was clear to me that he wanted me to flourish, to do well, not just as a student but as a person. He is a small illustration of the Spirit's desires for you. To be sure, your sin is a great affront to God. It is an expression of rebellion and for that reason it should be hated. But that doesn't tell the whole story. Sin also does great damage to you. You are meant for great things, and your sin is an obstacle to that occurring. When the Spirit sees another obstacle raised, it grieves Him.
Let's look at our text from a different perspective. When Paul wrote, 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God', he was warning us about our sin and its effects. Did he have some specific sin in mind? Was there some particular application that he was working on? At the beginning of the sermon I told you that our text was short. It is only one sentence. But think about it. When you write a letter you don't just throw down some disconnected sentences. They all fit together to make one main thought, a paragraph. It was the same with Paul. Listen to the paragraph that Paul wrote around our one-sentence text. 'Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.'
The paragraph gives a context to what Paul is writing about in our text. What's the paragraph about? The paragraph is about body life, our life together, our being a church. It's in that context that Paul writes, 'Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.' Paul is thinking about relationships within the church, a topic that is a key theme in this letter. Notice how he instructs the Ephesians on this here. He writes a list of actions and attitudes that affect our life together as the church, and he gives both sides of the coin. Don't lie, but speak the truth. Don't steal but work so that you can share with others. Don't let corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but rather what will build up. Don't harbor a spirit of bitterness and slander but express a spirit of kindness and tenderness. Paul offers a list of things to avoid and a matching list of things to pursue in the context of being the church. And like all of Paul's lists this one isn't exhaustive nor is it intended to be. It's a list of examples. And it's supposed to give you a good idea of what he is thinking about.
Here's the point. One way that we grieve the Spirit is by our sins against the other Christians in this room, our sins against the body of Christ, the sins that reflect our failure to live together as a church. And these are sins against both sides of Paul's list. It's not good enough if someone says, 'Well, I don't express any bitterness against anyone here.' That's good, but remember Paul's companion thought. Do you express the spirit of kindness and tenderheartedness and forgiveness? It's good if no corrupting words come out of your mouth, but do you speak words that will build up and encourage the other people in this room? Neglecting to do what is good and right is as grievous to the Spirit as doing what is wrong. But bear in mind that the flip side is also true. When you say those words of grace or share what you've earned or when you do any of a multitude of other good things, you make the Spirit glad. The Spirit responds to us emotionally in light of how we live together as a church.
I want to take this one step further. When someone sins, whether its saying something harsh or failing to give some away some of what he has earned, these actions are just symptoms of a deeper problem. The deeper issue is the attitude of the heart. Remember, Adam and Eve sinned long before they reached for that apple. This is also true when someone sins against the body. One kind of attitude that is often behind the sins that Paul is pointing to goes something like this: 'I don't need you. You don't need me. We all can make it adequately well on our own.' Out of that kind of attitude come all sorts of sins against the life of the church. And it is that kind of attitude that grieves the Spirit because He knows that if we are going to succeed as Christians, if we are going to succeed as a church, we need each other. So the right attitude goes something like this: 'Each of us is needed by the rest. Each of us needs the rest. If we are going to make it, we're going to make it together.' Refusal to believe this and then to act upon that unbelief grieves the Spirit. 'Each of us is needed by the rest. Each of us needs the rest. If we are going to make it, we're going to make it together.' That's Gospel truth. And that's why we have things like luncheons and Bible studies and all the rest.
I have one last area to look at. I've been talking to you about grieving the Spirit, and the fact is that not a one of us has failed to do this. This is something that we do all too often. But remember the Gospel. As soon as your heart takes the first step toward repentance, before even one word of confession has formed on your lips, the Spirit rejoices. He rejoices and He forgives. Your sins are gone. The Spirit has forgotten all about them. You can too. And bear in mind that your repentance is a sign that you are working on these things. Your repentance shows that you are seeing the difference between what is and what should be. And that's really good. That you can see the difference is one sign that you are on the way to flourishing greatly. The Spirit is at work. He is moving you ahead. He rejoices in the change He sees in you. And you should too.
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