This is an email that I sent to my brother who had written about some concerns he had for me. This was originally written in July 2020.
Glenn,
Here’s your question. Am I happy? And you are asking me that because what you sense in me is telling you that I’m not. So, how shall I answer?
I think that it would be helpful for me to explain two essential qualities about me. First, I am someone who is given to deep thinking. This is not just a personality trait but also something that I enjoy doing. So, I work at understanding the roots of ideas (where they come from theologically/philosophically) and the fruits of ideas (how they will affect people, especially those who are unaware of those ideas). Second, I am also someone who is emotionally tuned to the evil around me. By that I mean that I will notice what is wrong before I notice what is right. And while there certainly are some pitfalls to avoid here, being aware of the evil can be a strength. A group needs those who are uplifting and encouraging, people who quickly notice the good. But it also needs those who point out the evil and warn about it. That’s me.