A Wedding Sermon

This is the sermon that I preached at the wedding of my grandson and his beloved bride.

Now it’s time to hear from God. If the rest of you want to listen in, great. But it’s you two that I really want to talk to. Listen to this from Genesis where God describes some of what He intends marriage to look like.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

So, what’s going on here? Actually, there are several things going on. And I could talk to you about all of them. But I’ve chosen just one. So, it must be that I think that this one thing is pretty important for you to get. And it is. 

Here’s the one thing that’s going on here: no secrets. Adam and Eve were naked. No clothes. And in this way God pictures for us the fact that they did not hide things from each other. They had no secrets. 

The sad fact is that we all have been taught to hide. There are things that we don’t want other people to know about us. If people knew, they might laugh and make fun of us. We’d be ashamed. So, we hide them. But Adam and Eve weren’t ashamed. No secrets. 

Now, here’s a little something that I hope that you will both remember and act on. When a husband and wife hide things from each other it will result in the death of their marriage. That doesn’t mean that there will always be a divorce. But it will mean that what started out as a beautiful love affair between two people will end up with them pretty much being pleasant roommates, roommates with benefits maybe, but still just roommates. You don’t want that! 

Now, you might be thinking that that would never happen to you. But there are way too many people who also thought that on their wedding day who are, today, pleasant roommates. One reason for that is that they kept secrets from each other. So, they are missing out on what God designed marriage to be. They are missing out on the intimacy of their souls. They hid things from each other.

So, what you want to aim at is real, honest, complete openness with each other. Your lives need to be open books to each other. No hiding. No secrets. 

Now, as you might be thinking, that’s going to be hard. In fact, you might think that it will be impossible. Up to this point, you’ve hidden things from other people. Some people hide almost everything. Others aren’t quite that bad. But we all hide things. It’s what we’ve been taught, not necessarily with words that say, ‘Hide things’, but in other ways that have been very effective. Changing into someone who will be completely honest with this other person – well, is it really possible?

There will be those who are going to tell you that you can achieve great openness in your marriage. And then, they give you their list of seven things to do. They might even have Bible verses to go with the items on their list. But what is that? It’s trying to rescue yourself, rescue yourself from your sin, from the sin of hiding things from your spouse. And it is a sin. It is refusing to live the way that the Father has created you to live — the way that Adam and Eve lived as husband and wife before they sinned. And you can’t rescue yourself from your sin. 

So, what are you to do if you can’t rescue yourself from your sin?

This is where I remind you of something that you already know. Jesus has come. And you know why He has come. He has come to rescue you from your sins. And that means a lot more than just getting you to heaven. Sin has done some terrible things to you. It has made you less than really human, human as God intends. Jesus has come to change that. Jesus has come so that you can become whole people, so that you can become fully human, back to the way that God intended when He created all of this, back to Adam and Eve in the Garden. And one part of becoming fully human is being open with each other as husband and wife. Lots of talking. No hiding things.

So, what do you need to do? You know this also. You need to believe the Gospel. You need to respond to Jesus as Savior and Lord. So, time and time and time again you need to tell Him, ‘Jesus, You are Lord of our lives. We want to do whatever it is that You want us to do. Teach us how to be open and not to keep secrets so that our marriage will show people Your power and grace.’ And He will teach you. By His Spirit, using all sorts of tools, He will teach you. But there will be those times when, for whatever reason, you will keep a secret. You will hide something from the other. That’s when the Spirit will let you know what you have done. And that’s when you say to Jesus, ‘Lord Jesus, I have sinned against my wife/my husband, as well as against You. I am so sorry that I have done this. Please forgive me and grant me the grace to change.’ And, guess what. That is exactly what He will do: forgiveness and change.

Do you know what this is going to look like, this no secrets? Here’s one thing. You’re going to be talking to each other. You’re going to tell each other things that you’ve never told anyone else. You’re going to tell each other what you’re really thinking. You’re going to be talking about everything. And that will be so good.

The two of you are starting something today that can become something more beautiful than what you can now imagine. But it won’t become that beautiful thing apart from the grace of Jesus. Get to know Him well as your Savior and your Lord. There will be others, like Grandma Sheila and me, who will be praying for you, praying that your marriage will be something amazing, almost magical, something that will say to others, ‘This is what Jesus can do’.