Stray Thoughts: Tension

I bumped into a bit of Scripture recently that stood out to me.

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Philippians 1:21–24

I'm sure that this is familiar to many of you. Paul is reflecting on his life. For Paul, life is about Jesus. That's what defines his attitude about life and about death. And it's why he can honestly say that, as far as he is concerned, it is gain to die. And the reason for that is obvious. Dying means being with Jesus, face to face. So, Paul writes that he wants to die. That's his heart's desire. He looks forward to it. He longs for it.

But being the kind of person that he is, he doesn't stop there. He knows that there is more that needs to be considered. So, he goes on to write that, if he sticks around, he will be able to help the saints a bit more. And he knows that they really could use his help.

Paul is caught betwixt and between. Which does he choose? This is where I get my title for this post. There is a tension in his life. He really wants to be with Jesus. That is a very deep desire for him. And yet, he also wants to be able to help the saints who had been so dear to him. Tough place to be. But he does resolve this tension. Listen.

Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. Philippians 1:25–26

Because of his love for the saints, he puts aside, for the time being, his desire to be with Jesus and all that goes with that.

Here's what I noticed. I don't hear many Christians express this sort of tension these days. Who eagerly looks forward to dying so that they can be with Jesus? How often do you hear such a thing? But it's not that there is this great desire to remain so that the saints can be served and helped. What I tend to hear more of is the desire to remain in order to enjoy the pleasures of this life. That doesn't seem right. It seems rather selfish.

A word that comes to mind here is the word 'worldliness', pursuing life in the way that the unbelievers around us pursue life. I suspect that the Church in America won't be the salt and light that Jesus has called it to be until this attitude is repented of and replaced with the tension that we see in Paul. Something to pray for.