Friendship with God

I’m going to start off, this morning, with one of those odd kinds of questions. Who are you? There are many good ways to answer that. Here’s one answer that needs to be remembered. You are a creature. That means that you have been made by God. That also means that you are superfluous, unnecessary. God has no need of any of His creatures. He has no need of you. He was completely happy as Father, Son and Spirit, since forever without you. You are unneeded.

And yet - and this is where the wonder of God once again shines - having created you, He extends Himself to you. He reaches out to you - superfluous, unnecessary you. And He does that because He wants to create something beautiful with you.

Listen to John as he expresses something of this grace.

that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. 1 John 1.3

As usual, there is much going on here. But what I want you to notice is only one word. It’s the word ‘fellowship’. It is my hope that as I explore with you this notion of fellowship with the Father and the Son that you will see a bit more clearly the wonder of the Gospel.

We start where we usually start, with a definition. And this is important because ‘fellowship’ is, sadly, a church word. Back in the day, it was church code for coffee and donuts after worship, and that happened, at least in some churches, in what was called ‘fellowship hall’. But, obviously, there’s more to it than that. So, what is ‘fellowship’? And keep in mind where we are going. I’m going to talk to you about fellowship with God.

The word that John used is translated in several different ways throughout the New Testament. So, we have ‘partnership’, ‘contribution’ ‘sharing’. One that I especially like is the word ‘communion’ even though to many that just sounds too Anglican.

So, we have several options for a definition. What I’m going to do is choose a word that isn’t actually a translation, but it does capture the sense of our word, at least in the way that John means it. I’m going to use the word ‘friendship’. What John wrote about is the friendship with the Father and the Son that he enjoyed.

Now, I need to admit that there are issues with this word, ‘friendship’. In our world, having deep, lasting friendships is not actually all that common. People may have lots of acquaintances with whom they might chat, but honest-to-goodness friends? That’s another matter. I suspect that previous generations were a bit better at this. My father had a friendship with someone that lasted eighty-some years. This was a friendship that they kept up to date through the years and through all the changes. It only ended when his friend died.

So, instead of understanding ‘friend’ in terms of something rather minor and negligible - here, think Facebook ‘friend’ - let’s understand it in terms of something deep and growing. That’s what real friendship is about.

Now, I have to admit that I didn’t just grab the word ‘friend’ out of the blue. I got it out of the Bible. Listen to how God describes a relationship He had and still has.

But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, the offspring of Abraham, my friend; Isaiah 41.8

Jesus does the same sort of thing when He talks to the apostles.

You are my friends if you do what I command you. John 15.14

God has friends.

Now, I want to take this just a little further and point to a special kind of friendship: marriage.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2.24-25

‘One flesh’. What’s that about? It’s about intimacy, the intimacy of persons. That kind of intimacy is always to come before the intimacy of bodies. And that those two were naked explains one particular aspect of this intimacy of persons: no secrets. A husband and wife don’t hide things from each other. There is to be complete openness with each other. This is marriage. Or to use a different label, a husband and wife are to be friends.

While the friendship of a husband and wife is to be unique, this aspect of marriage speaks to what friendship, certainly friendship with God, is to be like: the intimacy of persons. Friendship with God is about intimacy.

That’s what John was talking about when he wrote about fellowship with God, intimate friendship.

So much for a definition.

Now, what does that look like? What is intimate friendship with God supposed to look like? Well, it actually depends. Friendship with the Father will look a little different from friendship with the Son which will look a little different from friendship with the Spirit. So, let’s look at each of those in turn.

What does friendship with the Father look like? Well, His name is a tip off. The Father relates to you as a father. There are many aspects to this. Let me point just to one. And to do that I’m going to read a good bit of one of the Psalms. Listen.

I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; ​the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Then the earth reeled and rocked; the foundations also of the mountains trembled and quaked, because he was angry. Smoke went up from his nostrils, and devouring fire from his mouth; glowing coals flamed forth from him. He bowed the heavens and came down; thick darkness was under his feet. He rode on a cherub and flew; he came swiftly on the wings of the wind. He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him, thick clouds dark with water. Out of the brightness before him hailstones and coals of fire broke through his clouds. The Lord also thundered in the heavens, and the Most High uttered his voice, hailstones and coals of fire. And he sent out his arrows and scattered them; he flashed forth lightnings and routed them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, and the foundations of the world were laid bare at your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of your nostrils. He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. Psalm 18.1-19

David’s in trouble. So, he cries out. And what happens? God shows up. And boy is He in a boiling rage. But doesn’t that make sense? Isn’t that what any dad would do? ‘Messing with my child? Are you kidding me!?!’ God’s reaction is intense. It’s violent.

And note why this Dad responded to his boy in the way that he did.

He rescued me, because he delighted in me.

This Dad has deep affection for His children. And, when the situation requires it, He will react with rage against those who trouble them.

This is friendship with the Father. This is who He is toward you.

Here’s a phrase that I use that captures for me something of the Father’s devotion to me. ‘He is for me.’ I find that thought so very comforting. My Father is for me. He is on my side. And as I believe that in those difficult situations I face, I am blessed with a great calm. The church word for that calm is ‘peace’.

Let’s move on. What does friendship with the second person of the Trinity, the Son, look like? For this I’d like to use what I think is a familiar image. This is from Revelation. And just to be clear, Jesus says these words to Christians.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Revelation 3.20 KJV

It’s the ‘sup with him and he with me’ that I want to highlight.

Last week we had our monthly luncheon. It was a lot of good food enjoyed with good friends. And as a result, it was noisy. There were conversations about all sorts of things going on, interspersed with laughter. It is interesting, isn’t it, how food plays such a significant role in enjoying friendships. You see that throughout the Bible. You see it in that verse from Revelation.

Now, let’s make an adjustment to what happened last Sunday. Let’s add one person. Let’s add Jesus. I expect that if He were physically at the luncheon last Sunday afternoon, we’d all be very quiet, wanting to hear everything that He had to say. And that, of course, makes sense. But I think that in the age to come, when life with Jesus becomes normal, there are going to be lots of rather noisy times enjoying good friends around tables of good food with Jesus there among us. And there will be laughter. The Gospels never show Jesus laughing. There is good reason for that. But in the age to come, He will be laughing as He enjoys all of us. He’s no stoic. He’s a real man. And we’ll all enjoy these times with Him, times that last week’s luncheon picture.

Now, take all of that and connect it to the verse I just read. Jesus stands at the door, at your door, and He says, ‘I’d like to come in and enjoy a meal with you, including all the talking and the laughter’. What’s He talking about? He’s talking about friendship. I know that the full reality of that awaits the age to come, but you can enjoy a taste of it now. It’s friendship with Jesus.

That leaves the third person of the Trinity, the Spirit. What does friendship with Him look like? Here’s a bit of Scripture that will help answer that.

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Paraclete. John 14.16

Wait! What’s a paraclete? That’s the word that John wrote here. And it’s a fact that it’s a little tough to nail down what it means. It has been translated in several ways. I’m going to start with ‘Helper’. I chose that translation because it’s just too obvious that we need all the help that we can get. The Spirit is with us to help us. Failure to sense this need is just might be evidence of pride. Without the Spirit’s help, we will not make it through this life. Jesus sent the Spirit to be our helper.

But then, there are other ways that ‘paraclete’ can be translated. One is ‘advocate’.

What’s an advocate? An advocate pleads the case of another. The Spirit is our advocate. But, to whom does He plead our case? To the Father. Listen

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8.26

We need help when it comes to our prayers. The Spirit is with us, as our friend, as our advocate, to help us with that. And He does a remarkable job.

And then, there’s another way that John’s word is translated: ‘counselor’. The Spirit helps us by giving us good advice. And I’m quite sure that I’m not the only one who feels the persistent need for good advice.

This is what friendship with the Spirit is about: being helped in ways that we surely need.

This is friendship with God. This is fellowship with God. And this is what you have as a Christian. This is the fruit of the Gospel: an intimate friendship between each person of the Trinity and you.

I’m going to guess that some of you wonder whether this is true because it doesn’t feel like you have an intimate friendship with each person of the Trinity. And that’s because of what we all deal with: the world, the flesh and the devil. This is the other trinity you experience, and it causes so many problems for you. It erects obstacles so that you would not enjoy what actually is already yours, friendship with God.

But you are not stuck in this plight. The Gospel gives hope. Those obstacles can be overcome. You can experience more of the friendship with God that is already yours. And the solution is not complicated. Let me illustrate.

When Linda and I were dating, I was going to school in northern New Jersey and she was going to school just outside Philadelphia. This is back in the dark ages. It’s before the internet. It’s also the time when there were these things called long-distance phone calls that cost extra. So, what this meant for Linda and me was that there was no email. And long-distance phone calls for two poor college students was completely out of the question. So, what Linda and I did was write letters to each other. Yes, paper and ink snail mail. And as our very different personalities dictated, she told me about the things that she was doing, and I wrote to her about the things that I was thinking about. And while we wrote some letters about everyday things, we also wrote some very honest and revealing letters. When I got a letter from Linda, as you would expect, I would read it and re-read it. I wanted to know what was going on with her. And that’s one important way that we got to know each other better.

God has written to you. And you will get to know Him better and enjoy Him more by grasping what He has written to you. Now, I understand that doing that is one thing when you’re working on one of the Gospels and something quite different when you’re reading Ecclesiastes. But that is why Jesus has provided pastors who teach the Bible. Our calling is to make clearer the hard parts of the Bible. But persist in your working at grasping what God has written. As you do, things will change. You will get to know your God better.

But it’s important to work at this in the right way. Don’t pursue it as something you’re supposed to do. I didn’t read Linda’s letters that way. That is a great danger for some of you because of how you were taught to engage with the Bible. The goal is not to collect Bible facts. The goal is to get to know God’s heart - Father, Son and Spirit - just as Linda and I were getting to know each other’s heart. The goal is to be able to know and enjoy your friend.

Then there is the other side of the coin. Just as I responded to Linda, you need to respond to God. You need to pray. Nothing good will ever happen without prayer. But, again, don’t pray in the way that religious people are supposed to pray. Pray like you’re talking to a really good friend. And while some of your prayers will be about everyday things, there will be times when you will have some very honest and revealing prayers to present to God. And if you need help doing this, ask the Spirit, your helper.

This may seem daunting. But here’s something to keep clearly in mind. The goal of the Gospel is for you to get to know God - Father, Son and Spirit - and to know Him really well. This is something that God Himself wants for you. Here’s a verse to consider.

​And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. John 17.3

This is why Jesus has come. God wants you to know Him. It’s the essence of eternal life. Getting to know Him well is a matter of His grace, not your efforts. So, much changes when you believe that.

You have been called into fellowship with God, into friendship with the Father, the Son and the Spirit. They are committed to seeing you grow in your enjoyment of those friendships. That’s the Gospel. So, believe the Gospel and see your friendship with God grow.