I've just finished reading Rachel Held Evans' chapter titled
'Adele the Oxymoron'. It was a short chapter, but it worked for me.
Rachel met Adele through her blog when she wrote a comment
that attracted Rachel's attention. As a result, they struck up a friendship.
That's when she learned more of Adele's story.
The more we talked, the more I
learned about what life is like for gay and lesbian people who are followers of
Jesus. The more I learned, the less I felt I knew. The less I felt I knew, the
more I listened.
As a fellow writer and friend, Adele inspired me to reexamine some of my assumptions.
Being inspired to reexamine our assumptions is almost always
good. Actually, it's a sign of humility. (The proud never think that they are
wrong.)
So, first, here's a bit of Adele's story as Rachel recounts
it. She grew up having crushes on other girls. But she felt the pressure to fit
in and so she 'repressed those feelings'. God moved in her life, and she became
a Christian during her college days. She attended a Christian graduate school
where she had 'an on-again, off-again physical relationship with another
woman'. She was told by her counselors that the relationship had to end because
it violated Scripture. As a result, Adele worked hard to be rid of her same-sex
attraction. As she puts it, she 'was determined to try to pray away the gay'.
She tried all sorts of things from prayer to fasting to conferences and more.
But in the end there was no change. So, as Adele recounts it,
I felt like a failure. I became
deeply depressed and tried to kill myself, which twice landed me in a
psychiatric hospital for over a month. It’s not that I really wanted to kill
myself; I just didn’t want to live this awful life. Sometimes I self-mutilated
by hitting myself because I seethed with so much loathing and disgust for
myself. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t change.
And here's one result of all of that.
For a long time I despised God and
the Bible. The Bible has always been used as an excuse to treat me with hatred
and revulsion.
And that gets me to the first thought that hit me as I read
this chapter. What happened to Adele was wrong. It would be wrong if rank
pagans treated her in that way, 'with hatred and revulsion'. It is worse that
Christians did it. It is shameful that Christians would treat this sister in
this way. Here is someone who was struggling with something and needed to be
loved. She needed her fellow Christians to hug her and cry with her and
encourage her and guide her. It is sad
to say that there are many who are like Adele, Christians who have been treated
so poorly by other Christians. That is so wrong and the Church needs to repent
of it.
Here is the second thought that hit me as I read this
chapter. While we all should feel deep compassion for Adele and the many others
who, like her, have struggled so, that does not give us the answer this
question: What does the Bible teach about our sexuality? That's a separate
question. It's important to be aware that whatever the answer to that question
is, it does not change how we are to love and care for our brothers and
sisters. Love is to be the hallmark of the Christian Church. But love does not
define truth. Having a deep concern and love for someone, whatever the problem
that they struggle with, will not tell us what it means for them to follow
Jesus well. Only the Scriptures can tell us what following Jesus looks like.
What is needed is careful study of God's Word so that we all might be
faithful disciples of Jesus.