'Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down
his life for his friends.' That is one of Jesus' short sayings that, at one
time, even unbelievers knew and repeated. It was, at times, applied to those
who fought in wars, dying to protect their fellow soldiers. Among believers it
is understood as Jesus' reflecting on what He was about to do in going to the
Cross. And there is good reason to see it in that way. Jesus was about to lay
down His life for His friends, these men to whom He was speaking as well as
innumerable others. But while the best example of what Jesus was talking about
is the Cross, it actually wasn't the point He had in mind when He spoke those
words. That will become clear as I read it to you in its context.
This is my commandment, that you
love one another as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for
his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.
As Jesus spoke these words to those friends of His, the
faithful eleven, He was not talking about His love for them but rather their
love for each other. And Jesus says the same to you this morning. He is calling
you to love one another. And He is quite clear in explaining what He means by
that. You are to love the other people in this room by laying down your life
for them.
There is quite a spectrum when it comes to how we are
supposed to relate to other people. At the lower end, there is being polite.
So, we listen without interrupting. Moving up the scale, there is being a good
neighbor. You might lend him your mower or something like that. We move a
little further on when we talk about relating to a good friend. This is someone
you might lend some money to, or even just give some money to. But when it
comes to being the Church, Jesus moves things way up the scale. Christians are
to lay down their lives for other Christians. That's what He means when He
talks about our loving one another, laying down our lives. What Jesus demands
is huge.
But let's be careful. Could Jesus be saying this as some
hyperbole, some exaggeration, just to make a point? Does Jesus really mean what
it sounds like He is saying? Does He really expect us to die for each other?
Well, He does offer an example of what He is talking about. He offers Himself.
His love for these men was great. And, as they will come to see in a few hours,
that love will indeed include laying down His life for them. He wanted them –
and wants you – to follow His lead. So, yes, Jesus really means what it sounds
like He is saying. Jesus is calling you to be ready to sacrifice whatever,
anything up to and including your life, if that is what loving someone else
calls for.
Now, why would we want to do something like that? Jesus
tells us. He expects us to obey His command because of our relationship with
Him.
You are my friends if you do what I
command you.
Loving the other people here is simply a function of loving
Jesus. And it's a good thing that He put it in those terms. Let's face it. The
people of our church can be, let us say, less than perfect. We can be hard to
love. If you decide to love a person only if he is worthy of being loved then
you'll have plenty of opportunities not to love. But if the reason you love the
other folk here is simply out of love for Jesus, then the unworthiness of the
others doesn't come into the decision. You love them because you love Jesus. He
is the friend you love the most.
I think that you understand what Jesus is talking about. That
part isn't hard. Doing what He is talking about is another matter. Why is that?
Why don't we obey this command as well as we might? There are lots of reasons.
Here's one. Some folk just don't realize that Jesus expects such devotion to
the other people of the church. We all have read bits of Scripture and thought
that we understood what they were about only to find out later that we missed
the point completely. I have no doubt that there are folk who have read this
bit of Scripture but missed the point. And that's why they haven't obeyed it.
But now, that is no longer true of any of you.
Here's another reason why some don't obey Jesus here. It's
weird. To love someone else like this is just not done, not in this culture.
Nobody loves like this. Now, there may be some extraordinary situation where it
won't be weird, but apart from that folk in our culture just don't think in
those terms. Laying down my life? Really? Well, Jesus doesn't care what the
cultural expectations are. He's not speaking to the culture. He's speaking to
His Church. He is requiring love and that of a certain kind. And it goes way
beyond being nice enough to lend your neighbor your mower. We will need to get
very used to the idea that what Jesus expects of us will be considered weird by
the culture around us. Much of it already is.
Now, there is a situation where loving in this way isn't
considered weird, at least by parts of our culture. That's when we're talking
about the love of fathers and mothers for their children. Good parenting
requires sacrifice. It may not require actual dying, but there are many dreams
and desires of parents that are set aside for the sake of their children. Good
parents lay down their lives for their children. That's not considered weird -
or is it? Sadly, there are lots of parents who are not willing to sacrifice
dreams and desires for their children. The clearest example of that is
abortion. But it shows in lots of other ways in modern American families. But
that's not you. And this parental love provides a starting point for loving the
other people here. Think about how you are willing to sacrifice for your kids
and then extend that to the people of Faith Reformed. That's movement in the
right direction.
Now, a question that someone might be thinking. 'If I'm to
be laying down my life for others will there be anything left for me? Isn't
this way of life basically suicidal?' That's a good question. It gets at the
heart of things. And here's an answer, or part of one. Jesus didn't always
sacrifice for the people around Him. There were times when He said, 'No'. I
find that so very helpful. Jesus said, 'No'. You are not called to meet every
need you encounter. Jesus didn't. But you are called to meet some needs that
you encounter. And meeting those needs may require you to lay down much. But it
is a matter of calling. What is it that God calls you to be and to do with each
day of your life? Answering that question is the key. It will help you to know
when to say 'Yes' and when to say 'No'.
But even so, there will still be lots of times when you will
have to respond to a need with a costly 'Yes'. And that may get to feel a
little suicidal. 'Will there be anything left for me?' Jesus' command to die
will seem so very harsh if you do not cling to the hope of the resurrection.
You are called to lay down your life for others. You are called to be a little
suicidal, at least at times. But, the day is coming when you will be given back
all that you lost - and more. Now we lay down our lives, now we sacrifice
whatever for the sake of the other, now we die. But later - later we rise to
life never to die again. Without this hope, being a faithful Christian who
really loves other Christians will be impossible. Lift your eyes from this
passing world.
So, what do you do with this? Here are some thoughts. First,
acknowledge that what Jesus says here is a command because that's what it is.
This is my command, that you love
one another as I have loved you.
Jesus commands you to act in a certain way. He expects you
to work at this. So, the first step is simply to submit to Him. Acknowledge the
command, and work at obeying it.
I think that it's good to start working at obeying any
command where it obedience is easiest. So, start with your family. Love the
people in your family by laying down your life for them. And teach your
children to love in this way. They also need to learn how to lay down their
lives. That means that you, their parents, will need to call them to sacrifice
in order to love. Sometimes you will need to say 'No' to them so that they can
learn to say a costly 'Yes' to you. That will hurt, but how good for them to
learn this when they are young.
As you work on this in your family the Spirit will bring you
to situations outside your family, situations with the other people here, where
they will need you to love them in the costly way that Jesus calls for. As that
happens, love as well as you can.
Learning to obey this command is like learning to obey any
command. It's a process. None of us is loving in the way Jesus calls for. But
He is patient with us as we work at this. So, believe that He is being patient
with you by being patient with yourself. And when you blow it remember the
Gospel: repentance and faith.
None of this will work if you don't pray. Trying to beat
down, on your own, the selfish motives of your heart will not work. That will
only lead to pride or despair, or maybe even both. And knowing when to say
'Yes' and when to say 'No' will take much wisdom. And none of us have enough to
do that well. So, pray. Pray that the Spirit will be teaching your heart how to
love in the way Jesus has commanded. And as you learn how to do that you will
be making the Father look good.