Jesus' call to follow him is about real self-denial, saying a real 'No' to our very legitimate desires. It is about preparing oneself for death - not a metaphoric death but a real, physical and painful death, along with whatever emotional pains that brings. The disciple might get a temporary stay of execution. He might just suffer emotionally. His situation might not include physical death at that moment. Or it might. But the call includes being ready for - taking the first steps toward - a very real death. And these requirements are simply the prelude to following Jesus.
And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.' [Mark 8.34]
An unpolished thought