The Shame of Repentance

Mark 1.14-15

Jesus begins His ministry by emphasizing repentance and faith. This call lies close to the heart of His ministry. And the reason why this is the case is clear. There can be no enjoyment of the Gospel without repentance and faith. A growing grasp of the Gospel requires a growing grasp of this dynamic of repentance and faith. So, it's no surprise that Jesus begins His ministry with this theme and continues with it throughout that ministry. And it is a theme that continues to this day as an ongoing part of His ministry among the saints by the Spirit.

I'm not going to spend today's sermon exploring repentance and faith. It's too big a topic. But even to spend a sermon on repentance alone is still too much to tackle. So, today I'm just going to look at one slice of repentance. I picked up something on the topic of repentance written by the Puritan Thomas Watson aptly titled, The Doctrine of Repentance. One of the things that Watson does in this little book is to list the different elements of repentance. He has six on his list, and he writes that each of these is a necessary element of repentance. He claims that you can't have true repentance without all of these, and I think that he is being quite biblical in this claim. Here's his list: the sight of sin, sorrow for sin, confession of sin, shame for sin, hatred for sin and turning from sin. I thought it good to pick one of these for us to look at, and the one aspect I chose was the aspect of shame. I think that you'll see that Watson was right to include it in his list. So, my goal is simple. I want to explore this one slice of repentance, shame for sin, so that you will have a clearer understanding of what it is that Jesus expects of you in this and why.

Shame is out of vogue. And that shouldn't be surprising. It cannot possibly co-exist with the attitudes of self-centeredness and disrespect that are so popular today. The young are encouraged to flaunt their evil, not to be ashamed of it. They are taught not to care about the opinions of others. In many respects, ours is a shameless society. One consequence of this is that the notion of shame is not very clear. So, the first thing for me to do is to spend a little time discussing shame to be sure that we all understand this in the same way. Shame is about a gap, a gap between expected behavior and actual behavior. It begins with an awareness of unworthy conduct, of having fallen short of some standard. Awareness of the gap is not shame. But it is a necessary lead up to shame. Shame arrives on the scene when that gap results in disapproval, the sort of disapproval that actually touches this person. Shame is about censure or disapproval in the eyes of someone who matters. Consider this example from Scripture. 'Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.' The community had expectations of Mary. One of them had to do with sexual morality. Mary would have faced great shame in the eyes of her community if they discovered that she had missed that mark, that there was a gap. And that would have mattered. So, Joseph, being a just man, had to break their engagement. But out of concern for Mary he decided to do that quietly to protect her from the shame. Consider another example. This one comes from the life of Ezra the priest. He returned to Jerusalem after the exile in order to re-establish faithful living among the saints. What he finds upon his return shocks him. Listen to his response. 'Then all who trembled at the words of the God of Israel, because of the faithlessness of the returned exiles, gathered around me while I sat appalled until the evening sacrifice. And at the evening sacrifice I rose from my fasting, with my garment and my cloak torn, and fell upon my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God, saying: "O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens."' Ezra's sense of shame is not rooted in community standards, as in Mary's situation. He isn't concerned about the censure of the people. No, rather, he was ashamed before his God. He felt the gap between the kind of behavior the Father had called the people to and how they actually acted. He felt the gap and he felt the disapproval.

Now, we're ready for the next step. When it comes to the shame of repentance, it's not about what the community might think. It's about what God might think. But that all depends on what God is like. So, if God is seen as someone without standards, one version of what is called 'unconditional love', then there will be no shame. There is no shame because there is no gap. This kind of God has no expectations when it comes to behavior. Almost anything is acceptable to Him, or at least He's able to ignore so much. Where there are no expectations there can be no gap. And where there is no gap there can be no shame. If, on the other hand, God is seen primarily as a judge, then there will be regret at being caught or fear of punishment. But there will still be no shame. The concern here isn't disapproval. It's punishment. This is like the convicted felon who's about to be sentenced. He feels no shame at what he has done. He doesn't care what the judge, or anyone else, thinks. He just doesn't like the idea of more jail time. That's what happens when God is seen as a condemning judge. So, where does this shame of repentance come from? What needs to be in the mix so that shame results from awareness of the gap? The answer, of course, is love. It is a relationship of love with God that results in shame. Let me tell you about something that happened when I was young. We were city folk – from Brooklyn – who had just moved to the brand new suburbs of New Jersey. The house was new, the experience was new. Everything was new – including the large tent my Dad had just brought home from Sears. He was in the back yard figuring out how to get it up, and he was excited about it. Remember, we were city folk. Camping in a tent was about to become a strange new experience. So, there's my Dad all excited when my Mom says, 'What's this?' While my parents were at Sears getting the tent, my brother and I were at home. We were tossing some of the pebbles that were laying around. One that I had thrown took a weird bounce. What my mother had noticed was the hole in the glass of the sliding door. I expected my father to be angry. His brand new house now had a significant ding. But there was no anger. There were no threats of punishment. Instead, my father simply left the tent on the ground and went inside, all of his excitement drained away. That was the first time that I can remember some sense of shame at disappointing my father. I would have preferred his anger. Those who experience the shame of repentance do so because there is at least a measure of love for God. That's why Ezra prayed as he did. There can be no shame in repentance where there is no love for the Father. This is what Jesus calls for when He cries out, 'Repent and believe the Gospel.' He's not looking for regret at being caught or fear of being punished. He's looking for a sense of shame that comes from love.

Let's move on. I think my next thought will clarify what I've said a bit more and also deal with some questions you might be thinking. Let's consider the parable of the prodigal son. Consider this young man as he sits in the pig sty after wasting the inheritance his father had given him. 'But when he came to himself, he said, "How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.'"' 'I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' What is that? It's shame. He sees the gap between how he should have acted and how he did act. More than that, he feels the gap. He knows that he is not worthy of his father. So, he resolves to return to his father, with a prepared speech about merely being given a job. He returns home, ashamed of himself. That's a picture of repentance, with shame being a prominent aspect. The next verse of the parable is so very important. Listen carefully. 'And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.' Did you notice what happened? What was the father's response? He runs, hugs his son, kisses him. Could you have pictured a better welcome? But – and this is what is so important for our discussion – when did the father run to his son to welcome him home? Was it before or after the boy's speech? It was before. Before the boy was even able to express his shame, the father is running, rejoicing, 'My boy is home!' And when his son begins his speech, when he starts to express how ashamed he is, the father cuts him off. He shouts to his servants about a new robe and shoes and a ring of honor. We see the shame of repentance here. It's more evidence that Watson was right include this on his list. But please notice that the father's welcome was not tied to the quality of the son's repentance. The father didn't first see how ashamed the boy was before deciding to rejoice at his return. He saw his son from a distance and ran. God's forgiveness is not tied to the quality of your repentance. He does not wait to see if there is enough shame. As important as shame is, it is not the price of forgiveness. It is not the penance that needs to be performed. This is important because some of you beat yourselves up for your sin and then wonder if you hit hard enough. The temptation for you will be to take this sermon home and next time you need to repent ask yourself whether you feel enough shame for God to forgive you. That's looking at shame as payment for forgiveness, a variation on earning your salvation. Forgiveness is free. Jesus has paid whatever is needed so that you can be forgiven. All that needs to happen is for your heart to say, ‘This sin is foolishness. I need to repent’, and at that moment the Father welcomes you home. All you've done is decided to repent and even before you take your next breath, the Father is there to forgive. The shame of repentance is important, but not as some payment for God's forgiveness.

That, of course, leads to the question why. Why is repentance important? Why is the shame of repentance important? If such things do not persuade God to forgive, why do we need to do them? And we do need to repent! Remember Jesus' call. But why? Let's go back to the son in the parable. That night there was a celebration with good food, music, dancing. The father was throwing a party. It was a glorious time. But consider that young man. Think about him earlier in the day as we he was walking home. He was practicing his speech. He was wondering what might happen when he stood before his father. He was ashamed of himself. But that evening there was a celebration – not just in his father's house but in his father's heart. He wasn't able to finish his speech. He no longer wondered about his father's response. And the shame that he had felt was completely obliterated. What was he feeling as he heard the music, enjoyed the food, saw the smile on his father's face? The young man experienced what David prayed for in his Psalm of shame. 'Restore to me the joy of your salvation.' Moving from the shame of repentance to compete forgiveness with excited celebration produces joy. The boy went from the abyss of shame to total restoration. It was as if he had never sinned! How can there not be rejoicing? The call to be ashamed of your sin is not intended to change God's heart. It's intended to change yours. It is intended to produce joy in your heart. The true fruit of Godly shame is joy.

Jesus has come so that all of your sins might be completely forgiven and all your shame obliterated. That's why He calls even today, 'Repent and believe the Gospel.' But note that the quality of your experience of joy, the joy of forgiveness, is tied to the quality of your sense of shame. Little shame yields only a little joy. It's seeing your sin clearly, seeing the enormity of the gap, that leads to a deeper shame which in turn bears the abundant fruit of a glorious joy. The deepest shame shows as the greatest joy – that is, if you can believe it. Repent and believe the Gospel.

All that remains is the question, 'How?' How does a Christian nurture this aspect of repentance? How can shame grow so that joy can grow? If you translate those questions accurately this is what you come up with. How can you change your heart? That's what we're talking about, changing the affections of the heart. And the answer to that is obvious. You can't. Changing a heart is something that only the Spirit can do. But that doesn't mean that there is nothing for you to do. The Spirit uses the Word. Knowing your Bible better and better gives the Spirit more to work with. That starts with knowing what it says, but it moves from there to also pondering what it means. The Spirit also responds to prayer. Jesus said, 'Ask and it will be given to you.' So, ask for a heart that sees its sin more and more clearly so that it will mourn over that sin and be shamed before God because of it. And pray for a growing faith. As this kind of heart repents and believes, it experiences a deep joy. And that's one big reason why Jesus wants you to repent – that you might experience the joy of the Gospel. And this is something that we will want to do because joyous Christians make Jesus look good.