Ephesians 4.11-16
Today, we're going to be looking at Paul's little phrase, 'speaking the truth in love'. There is more than enough here to keep us busy. I'll spend some time pointing out a few details to make sure that what Paul is getting at is clear. Along the way I'll also show you some ways that this little phrase speaks to your life. It's my hope that this will be, on the one hand, a bit challenging. That's important so that you can see some things to be working on. But, on the other hand, I hope that this will also be an encouragement to you to continue to invest effort into growing in faithfulness as a disciple of Jesus. It really is worth it.
So, let's start with this. There is more to this thing 'truth' than what you might at first think. For most folk, the idea of truth is all about accuracy. Did you accurately related the facts? If you did, then you've told the truth, right? A parent finds his child munching on a cookie and asks, 'Did you take that cookie out of the jar of cookies that I set aside for company?' The common assumption is that as long as the child is accurate in his response - he did or did not take that cookie out of the forbidden jar - he has told the truth. But let's test this by the Scriptures. Consider Satan. Jesus has some strong words to say about him. 'You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.' Satan lies. In fact, he always lies. Now, with this in mind let's examine that first temptation back in the Garden. Satan is having a conversation with Eve. After asking a question, Satan makes only two statements. Here's one of them. 'For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' Truth or lie? Well, was that an accurate statement? It was! By eating the fruit she would know good and evil, and in that regard she would be like God. Satan related the facts accurately. But was Satan telling the truth? Remember what Jesus said about him. 'He has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him.' Satan was being accurate, and yet he was still lying to Eve. Speaking the truth has to do with more than just accurately relating the facts.
Actually, speaking the truth has less to do with what you say than with where you're going with what you say. Speaking the truth is about the pursuit of what is good and right. It's about bringing honor to Jesus. Speaking the truth is to be a reflection of His character. Satan's goal in the Garden had nothing to do with what is good and right. And instead of honoring Jesus, he was trying to stir up rebellion. He was pursuing the destruction of all that is good and right. And being able to be accurate in his words just made it a better plan. That made it possible for him to be able to hide his scheming intentions a little bit better. Even though his words were accurate, he was lying. So, back to the cookie and that parent's question of his child. Remember the question. 'Did you take that cookie out of the jar of cookies that I set aside for company?' The child answers with a clear, 'No'. And it's a fact that he didn't take the cookie out of that jar. His sister did. He just happened to be there when she was getting one for herself. He just asked her to give him one, too. So, was he speaking the truth? No, he was lying. It's just that, like Satan, he was able to hide what really was going on behind a statement that was quite accurate.
So, here's the first point. Speaking the truth is about more than just accurately relating the facts. It's about where you're going with what you're saying. It's about pursuing what is good and right. It's about not hiding what should be revealed. It's about honoring Jesus. I think that it's fair to say that we lie lots more than what we might think.
Now, Paul adds to this phrase. He writes, '... speaking the truth in love...' In a way, the first part of the phrase, 'speaking the truth', looks more at Jesus. What will move things toward what is good and right as He defines that? How can I bring Him honor by my words? How can I choose to imitate His character, to live like He does, in the words that I speak? The second part, 'in love', leans more toward considering the person to whom you are speaking. What are his needs? What is he able to deal with? How can I help him to pursue what is good and right? How can I help him to honor Jesus? So, loving speech is about more than refusing to use harsh and cutting words. Loving the other person means that I am to serve him when I conversing with him. My words are to be a way of doing what is good and right to that person. This doesn't mean that all our conversations need to be serious and heavy. You can do much good by sharing a joke. The basic idea of love is that it looks to the benefit of the other. And that affects our conversations. So, you see, it's not so much about what we might be saying, but rather about the attitude behind what we're saying. Satan certainly didn't love Eve. He wanted her to join him in his rebellion, something that resulted in her death. But he didn't care about Eve. He was only thinking about himself. We are not to be anything like that. And because of Jesus we don't have to be anything like that. Instead, because of what He has done we can speak the truth in love.
Do you see, then, what Paul is getting at in his little phrase? He pointing to goals and attitudes. Where are you going in what you say? Are you pursuing what is good and right, as Jesus defines that? Are you working to honor and imitate Him with your words? Are you looking to serve the person you're talking to? All of this is included in that phrase, speaking the truth in love.
Putting this into practice is going to be hard. How many conversations are filled with words that have nothing to do with truth or love? 'Hi! How're you doing?' 'Oh, I'm fine. How about you?' 'Can't complain.' Now, did anyone actually say anything in that conversation? Was there any truth? Was there love? There might have been. You can't really tell by the words alone. It's the attitude that makes the difference. But there are lots of conversations that really are as empty as that one sounded. And you and I have been a party to some of them. The solution isn't to try to force change on the next person you talk to. How is that loving? The first step is to deal with your own soul. Remember we've been talking about attitudes. Is your heart working at pursuing what is good and right, at honoring Jesus with your words, at imitating Him? Evaluate yourself. Then see how you can help others to embrace the same qualities. Ultimately, this is something that requires the work of the Spirit, so that makes it something that you'll need to pray about.
Now, Paul's application of this principle is pretty obvious in our text. He applies it to the Church and how we are to relate to each other. We are to speak the truth in love. That is, we are to pursue what is good and right, things that bring Jesus honor, and we are to be thoughtful of the others to whom we speak. That is clear. There is one thing, however, that may not be as clear. According to Paul, this 'speaking the truth in love' is a means to an important goal. Let me re-read verses 14 and 15 to you. Listen for the contrast in what Paul wrote. '...so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ...' On the one side is weakness and instability, because of Satan's deceitful schemes. On the other side is maturity in Christ. And what's in the middle? What protects us from the one and changes us into the other? Speaking the truth in love. If we want to mature as Christians and if we want our church to mature as an assembly of saints, then we need to work at all that Paul's little phrase is about. Maturity comes through Godly relationships. That's what the Church is about. The assumption of so many Christians these days is that they can grow adequately well on their own. Developing real friendships with others in the Church might be a nice plus, but it's not necessary. But isn't this just another lie of Satan? And as usual, he takes a bit of truth - accuracy - but uses it for evil ends. It is a fact that if someone is going to grow as a Christian there is much that he needs to do by himself. And yet, the Spirit is clear in our text. If that person is going to mature as a believer he also needs to develop good relationships with others in the Church. He needs relationships where the truth is spoken in love. Maturity comes through Godly relationships. This also speaks to those Christians who, though they agree they need the Church, see it only as a lecture hall. They come on Sundays for more Bible information. They are interested in the information but not in the relationships. These are also buying into a lie of Satan. There certainly is much to be learned through the ministry of the Church. But maturity is not just a matter of information. We all need the relationships of the saints that lies at the heart of what it means to be a Church. Once again we see Scripture point to how the Church is indispensable.
I would like to apply our phrase to one other area, another relationship. It may sound odd but our prayers can be rooted in truth or in lies. It's a sad fact that there are many who pray lies. That's not to say that they are fibbing to God. What they say may very well be quite accurate. But it's not really the truth. What they tell God isn't really how they feel. The point of their prayers isn't about the pursuit of what is good and right in their relationship with the Father. Rather, to use Jesus' words, it's a lot of vain repetition. It's a bunch of church words strung together. There is no truth there. And since these are words of mere habit, uttered without thought for the Person to whom they are spoken, they are also words uttered without love. What good is that kind of prayer? The people who pray like this don't understand what prayer is about. First and foremost, prayer is about enjoying God. It's about enjoying who we are to Him and enjoying who He is to us. Prayer is about a relationship. That's where it all starts. And that kind of relationship grows as we speak the truth in love to our God. Isn't that what He always does with us? Truth and love. Here is something to meditate on. And I hope that the fruit of your meditations will encourage you as you work at your prayers. Learning how to be truthful with God can be difficult. But it really is worth the effort.
All of this gives us another vantage point from which we can understand the Gospel. Jesus has come so that we can be freed from Satan's lies. He has come so that we can grow as Christians, that is, so that we can develop as whole people and do that together. He has come so that we can enjoy God. Toward that end the Spirit calls us to work on what we say to others. The Spirit calls us to speak the truth in love to each other in our church and to our God in our prayers. Remember this is a matter of grace. He will give us whatever we need to do that. So pray for grace and strive to obey. As you do that, you will be blessed.
Today, we're going to be looking at Paul's little phrase, 'speaking the truth in love'. There is more than enough here to keep us busy. I'll spend some time pointing out a few details to make sure that what Paul is getting at is clear. Along the way I'll also show you some ways that this little phrase speaks to your life. It's my hope that this will be, on the one hand, a bit challenging. That's important so that you can see some things to be working on. But, on the other hand, I hope that this will also be an encouragement to you to continue to invest effort into growing in faithfulness as a disciple of Jesus. It really is worth it.
So, let's start with this. There is more to this thing 'truth' than what you might at first think. For most folk, the idea of truth is all about accuracy. Did you accurately related the facts? If you did, then you've told the truth, right? A parent finds his child munching on a cookie and asks, 'Did you take that cookie out of the jar of cookies that I set aside for company?' The common assumption is that as long as the child is accurate in his response - he did or did not take that cookie out of the forbidden jar - he has told the truth. But let's test this by the Scriptures. Consider Satan. Jesus has some strong words to say about him. 'You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.' Satan lies. In fact, he always lies. Now, with this in mind let's examine that first temptation back in the Garden. Satan is having a conversation with Eve. After asking a question, Satan makes only two statements. Here's one of them. 'For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' Truth or lie? Well, was that an accurate statement? It was! By eating the fruit she would know good and evil, and in that regard she would be like God. Satan related the facts accurately. But was Satan telling the truth? Remember what Jesus said about him. 'He has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him.' Satan was being accurate, and yet he was still lying to Eve. Speaking the truth has to do with more than just accurately relating the facts.
Actually, speaking the truth has less to do with what you say than with where you're going with what you say. Speaking the truth is about the pursuit of what is good and right. It's about bringing honor to Jesus. Speaking the truth is to be a reflection of His character. Satan's goal in the Garden had nothing to do with what is good and right. And instead of honoring Jesus, he was trying to stir up rebellion. He was pursuing the destruction of all that is good and right. And being able to be accurate in his words just made it a better plan. That made it possible for him to be able to hide his scheming intentions a little bit better. Even though his words were accurate, he was lying. So, back to the cookie and that parent's question of his child. Remember the question. 'Did you take that cookie out of the jar of cookies that I set aside for company?' The child answers with a clear, 'No'. And it's a fact that he didn't take the cookie out of that jar. His sister did. He just happened to be there when she was getting one for herself. He just asked her to give him one, too. So, was he speaking the truth? No, he was lying. It's just that, like Satan, he was able to hide what really was going on behind a statement that was quite accurate.
So, here's the first point. Speaking the truth is about more than just accurately relating the facts. It's about where you're going with what you're saying. It's about pursuing what is good and right. It's about not hiding what should be revealed. It's about honoring Jesus. I think that it's fair to say that we lie lots more than what we might think.
Now, Paul adds to this phrase. He writes, '... speaking the truth in love...' In a way, the first part of the phrase, 'speaking the truth', looks more at Jesus. What will move things toward what is good and right as He defines that? How can I bring Him honor by my words? How can I choose to imitate His character, to live like He does, in the words that I speak? The second part, 'in love', leans more toward considering the person to whom you are speaking. What are his needs? What is he able to deal with? How can I help him to pursue what is good and right? How can I help him to honor Jesus? So, loving speech is about more than refusing to use harsh and cutting words. Loving the other person means that I am to serve him when I conversing with him. My words are to be a way of doing what is good and right to that person. This doesn't mean that all our conversations need to be serious and heavy. You can do much good by sharing a joke. The basic idea of love is that it looks to the benefit of the other. And that affects our conversations. So, you see, it's not so much about what we might be saying, but rather about the attitude behind what we're saying. Satan certainly didn't love Eve. He wanted her to join him in his rebellion, something that resulted in her death. But he didn't care about Eve. He was only thinking about himself. We are not to be anything like that. And because of Jesus we don't have to be anything like that. Instead, because of what He has done we can speak the truth in love.
Do you see, then, what Paul is getting at in his little phrase? He pointing to goals and attitudes. Where are you going in what you say? Are you pursuing what is good and right, as Jesus defines that? Are you working to honor and imitate Him with your words? Are you looking to serve the person you're talking to? All of this is included in that phrase, speaking the truth in love.
Putting this into practice is going to be hard. How many conversations are filled with words that have nothing to do with truth or love? 'Hi! How're you doing?' 'Oh, I'm fine. How about you?' 'Can't complain.' Now, did anyone actually say anything in that conversation? Was there any truth? Was there love? There might have been. You can't really tell by the words alone. It's the attitude that makes the difference. But there are lots of conversations that really are as empty as that one sounded. And you and I have been a party to some of them. The solution isn't to try to force change on the next person you talk to. How is that loving? The first step is to deal with your own soul. Remember we've been talking about attitudes. Is your heart working at pursuing what is good and right, at honoring Jesus with your words, at imitating Him? Evaluate yourself. Then see how you can help others to embrace the same qualities. Ultimately, this is something that requires the work of the Spirit, so that makes it something that you'll need to pray about.
Now, Paul's application of this principle is pretty obvious in our text. He applies it to the Church and how we are to relate to each other. We are to speak the truth in love. That is, we are to pursue what is good and right, things that bring Jesus honor, and we are to be thoughtful of the others to whom we speak. That is clear. There is one thing, however, that may not be as clear. According to Paul, this 'speaking the truth in love' is a means to an important goal. Let me re-read verses 14 and 15 to you. Listen for the contrast in what Paul wrote. '...so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ...' On the one side is weakness and instability, because of Satan's deceitful schemes. On the other side is maturity in Christ. And what's in the middle? What protects us from the one and changes us into the other? Speaking the truth in love. If we want to mature as Christians and if we want our church to mature as an assembly of saints, then we need to work at all that Paul's little phrase is about. Maturity comes through Godly relationships. That's what the Church is about. The assumption of so many Christians these days is that they can grow adequately well on their own. Developing real friendships with others in the Church might be a nice plus, but it's not necessary. But isn't this just another lie of Satan? And as usual, he takes a bit of truth - accuracy - but uses it for evil ends. It is a fact that if someone is going to grow as a Christian there is much that he needs to do by himself. And yet, the Spirit is clear in our text. If that person is going to mature as a believer he also needs to develop good relationships with others in the Church. He needs relationships where the truth is spoken in love. Maturity comes through Godly relationships. This also speaks to those Christians who, though they agree they need the Church, see it only as a lecture hall. They come on Sundays for more Bible information. They are interested in the information but not in the relationships. These are also buying into a lie of Satan. There certainly is much to be learned through the ministry of the Church. But maturity is not just a matter of information. We all need the relationships of the saints that lies at the heart of what it means to be a Church. Once again we see Scripture point to how the Church is indispensable.
I would like to apply our phrase to one other area, another relationship. It may sound odd but our prayers can be rooted in truth or in lies. It's a sad fact that there are many who pray lies. That's not to say that they are fibbing to God. What they say may very well be quite accurate. But it's not really the truth. What they tell God isn't really how they feel. The point of their prayers isn't about the pursuit of what is good and right in their relationship with the Father. Rather, to use Jesus' words, it's a lot of vain repetition. It's a bunch of church words strung together. There is no truth there. And since these are words of mere habit, uttered without thought for the Person to whom they are spoken, they are also words uttered without love. What good is that kind of prayer? The people who pray like this don't understand what prayer is about. First and foremost, prayer is about enjoying God. It's about enjoying who we are to Him and enjoying who He is to us. Prayer is about a relationship. That's where it all starts. And that kind of relationship grows as we speak the truth in love to our God. Isn't that what He always does with us? Truth and love. Here is something to meditate on. And I hope that the fruit of your meditations will encourage you as you work at your prayers. Learning how to be truthful with God can be difficult. But it really is worth the effort.
All of this gives us another vantage point from which we can understand the Gospel. Jesus has come so that we can be freed from Satan's lies. He has come so that we can grow as Christians, that is, so that we can develop as whole people and do that together. He has come so that we can enjoy God. Toward that end the Spirit calls us to work on what we say to others. The Spirit calls us to speak the truth in love to each other in our church and to our God in our prayers. Remember this is a matter of grace. He will give us whatever we need to do that. So pray for grace and strive to obey. As you do that, you will be blessed.
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