Psalm 139
We're in the middle of another unplanned series. Let me make sure that everyone is up to date. We started back in Philippians 2 where Paul was emphasizing the need for the saints in Philippi to obey him, trusting Jesus to provide whatever might be needed to obey. The focus of Paul's concerns there was the relationships within that church. We looked at some ways that applied to us. Last week, we looked more closely at the nature of relationships within a church. I told you that we are family, the family of God, which means that we are to act as brothers and sisters, siblings who like each other. Today, we take the next step in our looking at this topic of our relationships.
But before we do that, I want to take a brief sidestep for the sake of clarity. An important key to understanding the nature of our relationships with each other is what Jesus says in John 13. 'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.' Jesus gives the Twelve - and us - a command. We are to love each other. He wants this command to be clear so He gives a living example. The model for relationships within the Church is Jesus' love for His people. That's the standard for His command. So, we know what is expected. Jesus has told us. As we understand better what it means that Jesus loves us, we will then understand better what it means for us to love each other. Jesus also gives a reason why this command is important. Our Christ-like love for each other results in a powerful witness to the world - a witness to who Jesus is and how He changes lives. Will we ever meet the standard of Jesus' love for us as we work at our relationships with each other? No, not in this life. There are many obstacles in our way. It's just like the command, 'Be holy as I am holy'. Will we ever achieve that? Not in this life. But in both cases we are to desire the goal and work as diligently as we can toward achieving it, knowing that in the life to come we will meet both standards. Now, working toward Jesus' standard for our relationships will look different in different people's lives. But the desire is to be the same. I think that it is accurate to say that all that I have preached in the past two weeks and whatever else comes along in this series is an application of this understanding of Jesus' command in John 13. You may have questions about this, so please ask me so that I can clarify how I understand what Jesus has said.
Now we're ready for today's question. And it's simply this. How do you do this brother/sister thing? How do we develop sibling relationships with the others here? That's a very large question, but I hope to shed a little light on it.
Our text is Psalm 139. This is the description of a relationship, a relationship of love. David is describing his relationship with Jesus. At the beginning of the Psalm it is Jesus who is doing all the important acting. He is the one who is searching out David's lying down, who is laying His hand of protection on David, who is always present with David regardless of where he might be. But by the end we see David responding. First, because of his love relationship with Jesus he reacts against the wicked. 'Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?' Then, for the same reason, David reacts to his own sin. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!' Jesus has a passionate love for David and it shows. David responds with a passion of his own. We see here both intimacy and passion. This is the ideal of a disciples' walk with Jesus.
Now, I am going to take one aspect of what we can see of Jesus' relationship with David and apply it to our relationships with each other. And we see this one aspect in the first verse. 'O Lord, you have searched me and known me!' Jesus knows David. And by the time we get to the end of the Psalm it's clear that David knows Jesus, at least to some extent. That's why he's so passionate. So, if we are going to have relationships of brotherly love with the other folks here, we need to know each. Now, there's knowing, and there's knowing. What impresses David is that Jesus really knows him. He knows more than the public face that David might put on. He knows the inner David. He knows his soul. Here, I will remind you of something that I've said before. When Adam and Eve were first created, they were naked. That's not about sex. It's about secrets. There were no secrets. Adam and Eve were open and honest with each other and with God. But what's the first thing that they did once they sinned? They hid. They hid from God and from each other. Re-establishing love relationships, Garden of Eden relationships - and that is at the heart of what the Gospel is doing - means working at knowing each other until there are no secrets. We will never - in this life - get to the point of having no secrets. In the life to come, yes, but not in this life. But we can desire that goal and make a great deal of progress toward it. And when we enter heaven, there will be no secrets. So, we will achieve this goal - just not now.
So, how does one person get to know another? How did David get to know his Lord? Jesus used words to express Himself to David. So we have this: 'How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!' Jesus shared His thoughts with David. The only way to do that is with words. How do you get to know your brothers and sisters here so that you can develop sibling relationships with them? Words. We need to talk with each other. We need to tell each other our thoughts. We need to talk about what's going on inside of us. And yet, how easy it is for us to simply put on our public face and say things that reveal nothing about ourselves. One reason that I know about this is that I think that I am quite good at it.
Consider this conversation. 'How's it going?' 'Oh, fine. It's been a busy week. This one was sick. I have a big project I'm working on.' Is this an example of the public face with words that hide? It's not clear. It all depends on the intention. Are these words intended to reveal or to conceal? Words that reveal don't have to be profound and deep, or dark and full of angst. Words that reveal do just that. They reveal. So, talking about a project that you're working on or how life is a little over-full because of someone's sickness can be good. These words can reveal. And as they do reveal they lead to knowing better. My point here is not about what you talk about. It's about why you talk about those things. Are you revealing something of yourself or hiding? I think that it's fair to say that we have all been taught how to hide, even behind pleasant sounding words. We need to learn how to be open, how to move toward the goal of no secrets. And part of achieving this has to do with the words we speak and why we speak them. Words can hide or they can reveal. We are at different places when it comes to this. Some of you are much more open than I am, so I have more work to do on this than you. But I think that we all have some work to do here. This is a skill to be learned. And that just means that there some ways to do this that are better than others. But it is a skill that can be learned.
But let's go a little further. What will we find as we get to know each other? The answer is obvious. One thing that we will find is sin. And shouldn't we expect that? We are sinners. So, we should all be prepared for this. As we work at getting to know each other, we will encounter sin. It may not be sin that is directed against us. It may be some sinful way that the other person deals with life in general, and we'll notice it. So, how shall we respond to this? One common response is to react against it. This doesn't have to be a harsh reaction. It might just be thinking, 'Hmm. Look at that. I'm not sure I like that attitude. I guess he's just not my kind of person.' And the wall gets a little higher. Satan loves this. There is no big fight, no strong words, no church split. On the surface all looks fine. But the unity of the church as the family of God is damaged and weakened and, as a result, the mission of the church falters.
Let me suggest a different response. I learned many things from my marriage. Here's one that fits here. There were times when Linda would be struggling with something, some issue or sin. My thought was, 'What's the problem? It's a non-issue. Just get over it.' I thought that way because, so often, whatever she was struggling with was a non-issue for me. Then, it dawned on me - and for this I am grateful to the Spirit - 'I struggle with things that are non-issues for her, but I would appreciate her empathy in those situations.' So, I learned that when she was dealing with something that was a non-issue for me, I shouldn't focus on the particulars of the issue - which had led me to my unsympathetic attitude. Instead, I needed to remember that I have my areas of struggle, too. Out of that would come a different attitude. Instead of an impatient reaction against her, there was some sympathy toward her in her struggle. Let me say all of that in a different way. I learned that I am to love as Jesus loves. He was patient and compassionate with David as he dealt with his sins. He loves me in the same way as I deal with my sins. I need to love others in the same way as they deal with their sins. So, when you encounter sin in one of your brothers or sisters don't fall into the temptation of thinking, 'Well, I don't sin like that. How could he?', and then pull away. Instead, remind yourself that you are a sinner also, and that Jesus is so patient with you. And in that attitude continue to reach out to this other believer.
What I've just said applies especially to sins that are not committed against you. But there will be times when one of the saints will sin against you. So, let's say that you've resolved to work at a relationship with someone here whom you don't know all that well. After worship you go to this person, 'Hi. How's it going?' In response he pleasantly says, 'Oh, fine.' His body language, however, is not responding as pleasantly. The shields are up, and the shutters are closed. The words are pleasant, but everything else is telling you, 'I'm not interested in revealing anything of the inner me to you.' The conversation stops there as this other person continues to gather his stuff and moves toward the door with a cheery, 'See you next week.' What just happened? You've just been sinned against. This brother has responded to your attempt at relationship by saying, in effect, 'No, I will not love you, and I will not let you love me.' What do you do? There is the temptation to go off in a huff, upset at what happened. Or you might tell yourself, 'Oh well. I tried', and then give up on developing that relationship - which, incidentally, is merely matching his sin with your own. So, what do you do? First, it's helpful to identify the situation. It certainly seems as if that person sinned against you. Maybe something else was going on, but that's how it seems. Then, secondly, you need to forgive him. And then, you need to go at it again at some point, trying to develop that relationship of love. Now, let me be clear about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not letting some sin become an obstacle to your relationship with another person. You will be sinned against. And that sin will affect your relationships. In such situations, you need to forgive. Giving up on the relationship because of some sin is the opposite of forgiving. We need to forgive each other and then continue to work at developing our relationships. It's what Jesus does with each of us.
Let me close with this. Remember where we started. Paul was calling the Philippian Christians to obey him as he taught them about this whole matter of relationships. So, on the one hand, these things are commanded. Jesus' words in John 13 cannot be clearer. But, on the other hand, we need to acknowledge that obedience here is not easy. In fact, as you already know, obedience in this area I really hard. Opening your soul to someone else, even just a little, can be very scary. It is for me. So, let me tell you what to do: pray. Specifically, you need to pray that the Spirit will give you a relationship with Jesus like the one that David had. That's where it has to start. As your relationship with Jesus develops, you will see growing in your own soul the kind of passion that David had for Jesus. It is out of that passion for Jesus that obedience to His commands grows. It is a developing piety that produces the best kind of obedience. Your love for Jesus will overwhelm the obstacles to developing a love for His saints. It will not be easy. But bit by bit you will see your relationships develop - relationships of sibling love. And as that happens to us all, we will have such a powerful witness to the power of Jesus in the Gospel that the world will sit up and notice.
We're in the middle of another unplanned series. Let me make sure that everyone is up to date. We started back in Philippians 2 where Paul was emphasizing the need for the saints in Philippi to obey him, trusting Jesus to provide whatever might be needed to obey. The focus of Paul's concerns there was the relationships within that church. We looked at some ways that applied to us. Last week, we looked more closely at the nature of relationships within a church. I told you that we are family, the family of God, which means that we are to act as brothers and sisters, siblings who like each other. Today, we take the next step in our looking at this topic of our relationships.
But before we do that, I want to take a brief sidestep for the sake of clarity. An important key to understanding the nature of our relationships with each other is what Jesus says in John 13. 'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.' Jesus gives the Twelve - and us - a command. We are to love each other. He wants this command to be clear so He gives a living example. The model for relationships within the Church is Jesus' love for His people. That's the standard for His command. So, we know what is expected. Jesus has told us. As we understand better what it means that Jesus loves us, we will then understand better what it means for us to love each other. Jesus also gives a reason why this command is important. Our Christ-like love for each other results in a powerful witness to the world - a witness to who Jesus is and how He changes lives. Will we ever meet the standard of Jesus' love for us as we work at our relationships with each other? No, not in this life. There are many obstacles in our way. It's just like the command, 'Be holy as I am holy'. Will we ever achieve that? Not in this life. But in both cases we are to desire the goal and work as diligently as we can toward achieving it, knowing that in the life to come we will meet both standards. Now, working toward Jesus' standard for our relationships will look different in different people's lives. But the desire is to be the same. I think that it is accurate to say that all that I have preached in the past two weeks and whatever else comes along in this series is an application of this understanding of Jesus' command in John 13. You may have questions about this, so please ask me so that I can clarify how I understand what Jesus has said.
Now we're ready for today's question. And it's simply this. How do you do this brother/sister thing? How do we develop sibling relationships with the others here? That's a very large question, but I hope to shed a little light on it.
Our text is Psalm 139. This is the description of a relationship, a relationship of love. David is describing his relationship with Jesus. At the beginning of the Psalm it is Jesus who is doing all the important acting. He is the one who is searching out David's lying down, who is laying His hand of protection on David, who is always present with David regardless of where he might be. But by the end we see David responding. First, because of his love relationship with Jesus he reacts against the wicked. 'Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?' Then, for the same reason, David reacts to his own sin. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!' Jesus has a passionate love for David and it shows. David responds with a passion of his own. We see here both intimacy and passion. This is the ideal of a disciples' walk with Jesus.
Now, I am going to take one aspect of what we can see of Jesus' relationship with David and apply it to our relationships with each other. And we see this one aspect in the first verse. 'O Lord, you have searched me and known me!' Jesus knows David. And by the time we get to the end of the Psalm it's clear that David knows Jesus, at least to some extent. That's why he's so passionate. So, if we are going to have relationships of brotherly love with the other folks here, we need to know each. Now, there's knowing, and there's knowing. What impresses David is that Jesus really knows him. He knows more than the public face that David might put on. He knows the inner David. He knows his soul. Here, I will remind you of something that I've said before. When Adam and Eve were first created, they were naked. That's not about sex. It's about secrets. There were no secrets. Adam and Eve were open and honest with each other and with God. But what's the first thing that they did once they sinned? They hid. They hid from God and from each other. Re-establishing love relationships, Garden of Eden relationships - and that is at the heart of what the Gospel is doing - means working at knowing each other until there are no secrets. We will never - in this life - get to the point of having no secrets. In the life to come, yes, but not in this life. But we can desire that goal and make a great deal of progress toward it. And when we enter heaven, there will be no secrets. So, we will achieve this goal - just not now.
So, how does one person get to know another? How did David get to know his Lord? Jesus used words to express Himself to David. So we have this: 'How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!' Jesus shared His thoughts with David. The only way to do that is with words. How do you get to know your brothers and sisters here so that you can develop sibling relationships with them? Words. We need to talk with each other. We need to tell each other our thoughts. We need to talk about what's going on inside of us. And yet, how easy it is for us to simply put on our public face and say things that reveal nothing about ourselves. One reason that I know about this is that I think that I am quite good at it.
Consider this conversation. 'How's it going?' 'Oh, fine. It's been a busy week. This one was sick. I have a big project I'm working on.' Is this an example of the public face with words that hide? It's not clear. It all depends on the intention. Are these words intended to reveal or to conceal? Words that reveal don't have to be profound and deep, or dark and full of angst. Words that reveal do just that. They reveal. So, talking about a project that you're working on or how life is a little over-full because of someone's sickness can be good. These words can reveal. And as they do reveal they lead to knowing better. My point here is not about what you talk about. It's about why you talk about those things. Are you revealing something of yourself or hiding? I think that it's fair to say that we have all been taught how to hide, even behind pleasant sounding words. We need to learn how to be open, how to move toward the goal of no secrets. And part of achieving this has to do with the words we speak and why we speak them. Words can hide or they can reveal. We are at different places when it comes to this. Some of you are much more open than I am, so I have more work to do on this than you. But I think that we all have some work to do here. This is a skill to be learned. And that just means that there some ways to do this that are better than others. But it is a skill that can be learned.
But let's go a little further. What will we find as we get to know each other? The answer is obvious. One thing that we will find is sin. And shouldn't we expect that? We are sinners. So, we should all be prepared for this. As we work at getting to know each other, we will encounter sin. It may not be sin that is directed against us. It may be some sinful way that the other person deals with life in general, and we'll notice it. So, how shall we respond to this? One common response is to react against it. This doesn't have to be a harsh reaction. It might just be thinking, 'Hmm. Look at that. I'm not sure I like that attitude. I guess he's just not my kind of person.' And the wall gets a little higher. Satan loves this. There is no big fight, no strong words, no church split. On the surface all looks fine. But the unity of the church as the family of God is damaged and weakened and, as a result, the mission of the church falters.
Let me suggest a different response. I learned many things from my marriage. Here's one that fits here. There were times when Linda would be struggling with something, some issue or sin. My thought was, 'What's the problem? It's a non-issue. Just get over it.' I thought that way because, so often, whatever she was struggling with was a non-issue for me. Then, it dawned on me - and for this I am grateful to the Spirit - 'I struggle with things that are non-issues for her, but I would appreciate her empathy in those situations.' So, I learned that when she was dealing with something that was a non-issue for me, I shouldn't focus on the particulars of the issue - which had led me to my unsympathetic attitude. Instead, I needed to remember that I have my areas of struggle, too. Out of that would come a different attitude. Instead of an impatient reaction against her, there was some sympathy toward her in her struggle. Let me say all of that in a different way. I learned that I am to love as Jesus loves. He was patient and compassionate with David as he dealt with his sins. He loves me in the same way as I deal with my sins. I need to love others in the same way as they deal with their sins. So, when you encounter sin in one of your brothers or sisters don't fall into the temptation of thinking, 'Well, I don't sin like that. How could he?', and then pull away. Instead, remind yourself that you are a sinner also, and that Jesus is so patient with you. And in that attitude continue to reach out to this other believer.
What I've just said applies especially to sins that are not committed against you. But there will be times when one of the saints will sin against you. So, let's say that you've resolved to work at a relationship with someone here whom you don't know all that well. After worship you go to this person, 'Hi. How's it going?' In response he pleasantly says, 'Oh, fine.' His body language, however, is not responding as pleasantly. The shields are up, and the shutters are closed. The words are pleasant, but everything else is telling you, 'I'm not interested in revealing anything of the inner me to you.' The conversation stops there as this other person continues to gather his stuff and moves toward the door with a cheery, 'See you next week.' What just happened? You've just been sinned against. This brother has responded to your attempt at relationship by saying, in effect, 'No, I will not love you, and I will not let you love me.' What do you do? There is the temptation to go off in a huff, upset at what happened. Or you might tell yourself, 'Oh well. I tried', and then give up on developing that relationship - which, incidentally, is merely matching his sin with your own. So, what do you do? First, it's helpful to identify the situation. It certainly seems as if that person sinned against you. Maybe something else was going on, but that's how it seems. Then, secondly, you need to forgive him. And then, you need to go at it again at some point, trying to develop that relationship of love. Now, let me be clear about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not letting some sin become an obstacle to your relationship with another person. You will be sinned against. And that sin will affect your relationships. In such situations, you need to forgive. Giving up on the relationship because of some sin is the opposite of forgiving. We need to forgive each other and then continue to work at developing our relationships. It's what Jesus does with each of us.
Let me close with this. Remember where we started. Paul was calling the Philippian Christians to obey him as he taught them about this whole matter of relationships. So, on the one hand, these things are commanded. Jesus' words in John 13 cannot be clearer. But, on the other hand, we need to acknowledge that obedience here is not easy. In fact, as you already know, obedience in this area I really hard. Opening your soul to someone else, even just a little, can be very scary. It is for me. So, let me tell you what to do: pray. Specifically, you need to pray that the Spirit will give you a relationship with Jesus like the one that David had. That's where it has to start. As your relationship with Jesus develops, you will see growing in your own soul the kind of passion that David had for Jesus. It is out of that passion for Jesus that obedience to His commands grows. It is a developing piety that produces the best kind of obedience. Your love for Jesus will overwhelm the obstacles to developing a love for His saints. It will not be easy. But bit by bit you will see your relationships develop - relationships of sibling love. And as that happens to us all, we will have such a powerful witness to the power of Jesus in the Gospel that the world will sit up and notice.
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